Forgetting Yourself
by itaitach4n
Summary: Itachi is barely alive after a horrific attack that leaves two others dead. The family prepares for the worst, when Itachi suddenly comes back from the brink of death. Weak and confused, everyone soon learns that Itachi has forgotten almost everything except the voice of a Uchiha Shisui. This takes place in an AU where the Uchiha massacre never took place!
1. Chapter 1

SOOOOOOO, I haven't done a fic in a long time. I do apologize. I know I have several that I should be updating, and I am going to try and finish the remaining stories that I have out. By the end of the year. REALLY GOING TO TRY. Anyway, I wrote this because I wanted to & I haven't done and ItachiXShisui story. I don't think it will be very long, but who knows.

* * *

Shisui's heart was thumping so hard in his chest, he almost thought it would just birth right through…

Itachi.

Blood.

Two dead?

The details were so unclear. But, what Shisui did know was that Itachi and two other members from his ANBU unit had gone ahead into enemy territory to gather intel before Shisui and his teammates made their move. Itachi was highly capable of retrieving intel and doing so quietly. He had done missions like this, thousands of times. He almost always prevented his team from having to face any sort of danger, and when they did run into enemies, Itachi was able to fight them off. But, not this time.

After Itachi's unit didn't return after the normal two hours needed to gather intel, Shisui grew concerned.

"I'm sure they are okay."

"Itachi wouldn't let anyone sneak up on them."

But, they were wrong.

Suddenly the news of Itachi and his team reached the awaiting ANBU. Apparently a patrol team came across, what they described as a bloody scene. The two other ANBU members with Itachi had been killed. Horrifically. Itachi was found unconscious and barely breathing. They immediately rushed him to the village and to hospital.

Now Shisui was racing along the tree line trying to make his jumps longer, his strides faster.

Itachi was alive. That was all Shisui needed to know.

Once Shisui arrived at the hospital, he realized the extent of Itachi's condition. Several of their family members had gathered outside the hospital. They all turned sad eyes to Shisui as he stumbled up the steps to the front door. No one spoke as he made his way through the crowd. They knew what Itachi was to Shisui, his best friend. They were so close. Their apologetic eyes made Shisui break out in a cold sweat.

Once inside he approached a nurse.

"Uchiha… Itachi?" Shisui barely chocked out, realizing how tight his throat had become.

The woman's face dropped and she looked almost nervous.

"I'm sorry… But, only immediate family is allowed in the waiting room for Uchiha Itachi."

Shisui blinked and tried to gain control of his temper as it flared.

"Please… he's my everything." It wasn't what Shisui had intended to say. But the nurse suddenly looked as if she was going to cry.

She stepped aside and whispered "809" in such a hushed tone, that Shisui nearly missed it. In an instant he was raced up the flights of stairs, praying that when he got to the top, Itachi would be smiling in his bed, acting like it was no big deal.

As soon as Shisui pushed the doors to the 800 rooms open, he was met with the head Uchiha family. All their eyes fell on Shisui in shock.

"Shisui?" Mikoto exclaimed as she approached her nephew.

"Is Itachi alright?" Shisui blurted out, without really thinking.

The family exchanged looks of unease.

"We don't know." Mikoto finally said.

Mikoto was a wonderfully beautiful woman. She was tall and thin and her hair fell like dark waves down her narrow back. Her skin was soft and pink like a peach with lips a soothing shade of red. Her glassy eyes were cased in long eyelashes that fluttered whenever she blinked. She was radiant and beautiful, except for at this moment. Her face was hard and all the color had been drained from it. Her hair seemed to have lost it's shine and fell in mats over her shoulder. She slumped as she stood, biting her nails looking almost through Shisui.

Fugaku, the head Uchiha was a big man. His hair was coarse and thick, and spiked in all directions. His skin was sun kissed, evidence that he had once spent a long time on the field. He was a thick man with a muscular body. But now, he was shrunken almost. He hadn't bothered to move closer to Shisui since he had bursted through the doors. His dark eyes were fixed on Itachi's room and he hardly even acknowledged Shisui's presence. Not that Shisui wasn't used to this. Shisui was a magnificent ninja and a wonderful Uchiha. But the head family believed that Shisui was a bad influence on Itachi. Where Itachi was refrained and thoughtful, Shisui was spirited and at times very thoughtless.

Sasuke stood against the wall, the furthest from Shisui. It was almost hard to look at Itachi's younger brother. For as long as Shisui could remember, Sasuke hated him. He was unsure where the hate stemmed, but he was positive that it had not faded in the slightest, judging by Sasuke's scowl. Sasuke, like his brother, was very handsome. He had pale skin, without a single hint of color. His dark eyes were framed by short eyelashes. His hair was similar to his father's, coarse and thick and spiked in all directions. Though he was Itachi's younger brother, he had grown to tower over his older brother. And unlike Itachi, Sasuke was much more muscular.

The silence in the room suddenly struck Shisui. Sasuke was glaring at him. Fugaku was ignoring him, and Mikoto was unsure how to proceed with him. Shisui took a long breath and held it.

"Can we see him?"

"Not even we have seen him yet." Sasuke snapped, clearly annoyed by Shisui's presence.

"Yes, how did you get in here?" Fugaku asked, finally acknowledging Shisui.

Shisui blushed.

"I just told the nurse… I told her that, Itachi and I…" But, Fugaku had turned his attention to the doctor who had just exited Itachi's room.

"Doctor, how is he?" Mikoto asked, her hands clutched over her heart.

The doctor sighed.

"He is in pretty terrible shape… I have honestly never seen someone survive with the injuries that he has."

Everyone gasped slightly. Shisui's heart pounded.

"He is still in critical, and will remain in critical for the time being."

"If my son still needs you, why the fuck are you out here?" Fugaku hissed.

The doctor blinked in surprise, and quickly retreated back into Itachi's room. The family fell silent again. Mikoto and Fugaku slumped in ratty chairs by Itachi's room. Sasuke remained standing, his eyes still drilling into Shisui's head. After a moment, Mikoto patted the chair next to her, offering it to Shisui. Shisui shyly accepted and took his seat.

The head family allowed Shisui to sit with them for the next few hours. It all dragged by so slowly. But Shisui took in everything. Mikoto was devastated with worry. Her eyes always held tears and she almost looked like she was going to be sick. Fugaku looked angry. He snapped at any hospital personal that dared to come near the family. He had his arms crossed and a fine sheen of sweat had settled on his brow. Sasuke still hand't bothered to sit. His eyes danced between looking hopefully at Itachi's room, to glaring at Shisui. Shisui shifted uncomfortably under Sasuke's gaze. He knew just how important his little brother was to Itachi and with that in mind got to his feet. Mikoto and Fugaku barely paid any attention to the movement. Shisui approached Sasuke cautiously.

"Are you doing alright?" Shisui finally asked.

Sasuke glared at him.

"My brother is here, and might be dying. How do you think I feel?"

Fair enough.

Shisui smiled genuinely at the boy. Shisui, himself, was called an attractive man. He was tall, with a muscular frame, just as Sasuke's and the two stood fairly close in height. Shisui's skin was similar to Fugaku's showing evidence of long sun exposure. His cheeks were blotchy red and his eyes were lighter than most Uchiha's. A soft gray hidden by long eyelashes. He had a shit-ratting grin that was told was infectious, but not at this moment. Perhaps smiling wasn't acceptable, because Sasuke sure as hell didn't like it.

"Itachi is here because of you, you know."

Shisui 's smile faded. Here because of him? Shisui suddenly felt eyes on him, and chanced a look at Mikoto and Fugaku. They were both staring. A bit defensively, Shisui asked why.

"Itachi only joined the ANBU because you talked so much about it. He idolized you and because of hat, he chose to get involved with the ANBU and this is where he is now…" Sasuke spat.

ANBU understood that the missions that they took were dangerous. They understood that each and every time that they took to the field, they might not make it back. This was an understanding that a Chunin wouldn't understand. Sasuke was a wonderful Chunin, up for a promotion to Jounin he had recently heard. But, he was not ANBU, therefore he did not understand. It was true that when they were younger, Shisui had expressed his desire to follow in his father's footsteps and be a part of the ANBU. But Itachi had joined much earlier than Shisui, and suddenly Shisui found himself joining to be able to protect his dear cousin.

The air in the room grew thick with tension. Shisui looked back at his aunt and uncle to see a silent agreement on their faces. They all agreed with Sasuke. Shisui gulped and turned back to Sasuke. Grieving was a hard process. They were upset and confused and looking to blame someone. Fine, he would be their scapegoat. Shisui pushed his hands into his pockets, fingers grazing a kunai before he announced that he thought that the family should be alone. No one said a word as Shisui turned away from the family and out the door.


	2. Chapter 2

So, like an idiot, I forgot to mention a few things in the first chapter. This story takes places as though the Uchiha massacre never happened. Sasuke is also closer in age to Itachi. Itachi is about 18. Sasuke is 16. Shisui is 19. Sasuke is a chunin and soon to be promoted to jounin. He is not able to join ANBU because he lacks the skills needed. Itachi has worked in the ANBU since he was 11. Shisui has worked in the ANBU since he was 15. SORRY. Here's chapter 2!

* * *

As hard as it was, Shisui stayed completely away from the hospital. He figured if there was news, good or bad, he would be informed. The silence that he received the next five days only caused him more worry and more hope.

He instead dove into investigating the attack. The evidence was all pretty week. There was so much damn blood at the scene that if the killer had lost any, they wouldn't have had a clue since all the blood had mixed together. Other than a few discarded kunai, which Shisui believed belonged to a member of Itachi's team, there was really nothing. Whoever had done this, had done it well.

Shisui attended the funerals for both the men on Itachi's team. He stood silently among the rest of his ANBU teammates and silently thanked whatever God there was that it wasn't Itachi they were placing in the ground. After the funeral had come to an awkward close, the crowd dissipated. People were worried. Whatever had happened to these men was traumatic and they feared for their safety. The Hokage assured them that the attacks were under investigation, and there was nothing to worry about. But, Shisui knew that was a lie.

Shisui was heading back to the compound, still wearing his ANBU mask and a tailored suit. His mind danced around what he knew from the attacks, but like always he couldn't make sense of anything. He suddenly stopped dead in his tracks.

Mikoto.

She was standing a few feet ahead, tears pouring out of her bright eyes. Shisui felt his body go numb as he removed his mask slowly, making eye contact with his aunt. She held a handkerchief in her hand and dabbed her eyes as Shisui finally closed the gap between them.

This was it.

Itachi had died.

Shisui felt sick as he waited for Mikoto to gather the strength she needed in order to speak.

"The doctors… they say that it's his time." Her eyes fluttered shut as if by closing her eyes, it would all go away.

"They said to prepare for the worst."

Shisui's mouth fell open. This couldn't be true. This couldn't be how Itachi died. Horribly beaten and then falling into a coma only to not wake up. No, not Itachi…

Shisui tried to say something. Anything. But all he could do was let out a pained moan. Mikoto turned away.

"Come say goodbye."

The hospital was crowded again with their family members. All dressed in pure black suits and dresses. They all gave Mikoto words of apology. They poured sympathy over her as she made her way into the hospital. Many of his family reached out to him as well. Soft pats on the back and the word "Sorry", echoed in his ears.

The room Itachi was in was surrounded by only Fugaku and Sasuke, who were both in tears. A nurse stood by with a sadness on her face. Apologizing for everything. The words meant nothing, Itachi was doomed.

"Has everyone seen him already?" Was all Shisui could think to ask.

"Only close family will see Itachi off." Mikoto said, giving Shisui a sad look.

Shisui normally would have felt honored that Mikoto included him in a "close family" situation, but not under these circumstances. A doctor soon appeared at Itachi's door with a pained expression. He explained Itachi's condition to them, but Shisui wasn't paying any attention. All he could think about was how he had failed to protect Itachi.

The family decided that they would go in separately and say their own personal goodbyes and then be in there together as the doctors pulled the plug.

Fugaku went first. He sat near his son, cupping his hands and cried. He apologized for pushing him so hard. He apologized for being so hard on him when he was in school. He even apologized for the time he didn't buy Itachi a balloon when he was a child. Mikoto was next. She sat by Itachi, brushing the hair out of his face. She sobbed and told him how proud she was. She laid her tiny hand on his cooled cheek before she was overwhelmed with sobs. Sasuke then went. He said no words, just sobbed into Itachi's small chest. When it was Shisui's time to go he felt sick.

The room Itachi was in was large. It was painted an off-white and had yellow details. It was overly cleaned. Something Itachi probably would have appreciated. This was the first time Shisui had seen Itachi since the attack. Itachi's beautiful face was marred with bruises and scratches, His body was heavily bandaged. He looked so tiny. So frail. Shisui couldn't find words. Even when hanging in the balance between life and death, Itachi was beautiful. His long eyelashes kissed his cheeks and his pink lips were parted. Shisui stared at those lips. He had never confessed to Itachi that he loved him. He didn't want to burden Itachi with this. Itachi was tough enough to get close to. Tell him that he loved him might cause Itachi to drive him away. But, in that moment, Itachi's lips seemed to make the most sense. If he could just…

Shisui ducked down and captured Itachi's lips with his own. They were cold, but Shisui let all the love and admiration he had for Itachi drain into the kiss. After a moment he pulled away.

"I'm sorry." Was all he could say.

Shisui then stood, tears pouring out of his eyes when Itachi suddenly groaned. Shisui jumped at the sound. He whirled around to see Itachi's face contorting and his body shifting under the blankets. An alarm from one of the machine's hooked to Itachi went off and almost instantly the doctor burst into the room.

"What's happened?" Shisui asked, almost afraid of the answer.

In the doorway, the head Uchiha family stood, eyes wide and scared as the doctor and nurse examined both Itachi and the machines.

"What is going on?!" Shisui nearly screamed.

The doctor rushed to Itachi's side, hands glowing green as he prepared to start healing. He glanced up for a moment, with a smile.

"Itachi i waking up."


End file.
